Birthday blues

Once a year, we celebrate the anniversary of life. Everyone has a birthday- good or bad. Yesterday marked my 26th year of life. Cheers to that.

I usually get a bit of the birthday blues, every year. Though it is a day of celebration, happiness, attention, love, compassion, and other fluffy adjectives- it is also another day to reflect on what I’ve done in life and what I’ve accomplished. What are my ragrets (joke) and are they even really regrets? Am I proud of what I have become? I guess I could have contemplated all of this on another day; but, what’s the fun in that? *devilish smile*

On the way to Hawaii, I spoke to an interesting, yet very wise woman, who opened my eyes to the value and worth of things and concepts in life. She also gave her philosophy that you should try and measure situations with someone else’s measuring stick, and not just yours. Kind of like, walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. Until we can truly see the person’s intentions from their perspective, we cannot truly judge them or label them based upon our own perspective. Through one’s eyes, an action may seem atrocious and through another’s, it may have been a sensible solution. She also talked to me about worth, value, courage, and strength. She beckoned me to think about who or what is truly with my time. She encouraged me to value myself, value my time, my body, and my spirit. Lastly, she told me to have the courage and strength to walk away from certain situations and stand up to others. She told me of her many experiences in life where she took the back seat to certain decisions and events. She learned that she did not value herself enough to be strong. And so, she told me to learn from her mistakes and to value myself. I am worth much more than mediocrity- and that I settling for mediocrity is conforming to mediocrity.

At the same time, we applied the value and worth thing toward love. She asked me who I would find worthy of my time? Who would I value in the end? What qualities would I value in a woman? Lastly, would that girl be worth seeing through her all faults, imperfections, and insecurities? It gave me a lot to think about, when searching for “the one.” I won’t elaborate on my thoughts but it really got me to think about what I truly want and who I truly consider as worth it.

I didn’t really reflect on all of that until yesterday, which was pretty stupid of me; but OH WELL. It was my birthday and it’s a societal expectation that you respect the way that I spent it. ūüėõ Honestly, my birthday was rather uneventful- which was to be expected from a birthday that takes place on a Wednesday. I worked, did homework, and somewhat cleaned my room. I had my annual solo Thai food dinner, minus the Thai tea this time around. It was a quiet and relaxing evening to say the least. I don’t ragret it by any means; but yes, I do wish I had a bit more fun. Oh well. There’s always next year. I’ll probably go shopping to buy myself a nice gift. It’s always good to self-reward/self-motivate.

Thank you to everyone who greeted me happy birthday. You are all wonderful people and I’m sorry that I almost never say happy birthday back.



Starting fresh.

Hawaii was probably one of the best experiences of my life. Everything about that place was beautiful. The weather was beautiful, the scenery was beautiful, the people were beautiful. My time spent there was just as beautiful as well.

I stayed in Hawaii for a week for a childhood friend’s destination wedding. I spent the majority of the time with my friends and co-groomsmen from Oxnard. We were at beaches and tourist attractions by day and night swimming in hotel pools by night. We met up with the rest of the bridal party as well for late night parties and festivities.¬†It was paradise.

I ate so much great food there as well. A local katsu place stole all my attention and we ended up eating there twice. I also slowly became obsessed with Henry’s Ice Cream, which is conveniently a stone’s throw away from that katsu place- I visited almost every day of my stay. I must say, vacations do cost a pretty penny. I noticed this when we went out for literally every meal of the day.

The wedding day came and I couldn’t help but be genuinely happy for my friend, Rob. It’s not very often that we talk seriously; but, man.. I was so proud and so very jealous at the same time. I won’t harp on too long about it- but to find a beautiful bride and a love to last a lifetime. She has a beautiful and closely-knit family that give them so much love and support.¬†That’s amazing. I can only dream of having that.

That day, we all came together to celebrate their union. Ew. I sound like a priest. I had so much fun that whole day. I met so many beautiful people and had so much fun with them. It was an experience that I’ll never forget.

Now, we’re back to reality. I am able to take a step back and reflect on Hawaii. Here’s a few things that I have observed.

  1. It’s nice to take a break from reality or adulting. Hawaii was a huge stress reliever and probably released any frustration I stored from work and life in general. I honestly should take some time off of work periodically, instead of being extremely stingy about my vacation hours in case that I ever need them. (I have a bunch ¬†of¬†vacation hours stored up… yeah don’t ask.)
  2. I filled up so much of my luggage with workout gear; but never got to use it. I suppose I need to map my time out better in order to accommodate Crossfit. Though I know that my time was spent actually having fun and enjoying vacation- not doing Crossfit left a void and I really missed it. Coincidentally, I did not gain any weight from Hawaii, despite feeling fatter.
  3. The bros have become closer than ever. We have finally realized that we don’t need technology to have fun. It’s a bit silly; but, I feel like we kinda just found out that we actually¬†really enjoy each other’s company. We now talk in our group chat about planning our next outing with just da¬†boyz.
  4. Speaking of bros, it was amazing to travel with my brother. My brother is absolutely 100% my best friend. I’m thankful that I have a best friend who shares the same blood in his veins. Somehow, I feel like that is uncommon nowadays. Though we are very close, our schedules never really align to take a vacation. Hawaii was a good one.
  5. It’s okay to meet people and it’s okay to be social. This has been a struggle for me for the past few years, as I dealt with a bunch of self-esteem issues. I met so many amazing and beautiful people. I loved that experience and I hope that I can maintain those friendships while creating new ones.
  6. The laws that govern attraction between two individuals are very confusing. I’m just going to leave it at that. And no- I did not return to America with a new girlfriend.

To conclude, new experiences and new people have somewhat opened my eyes. I’m slowly learning that it can be fun getting out of my comfort zone every now and then.